Tampilkan postingan dengan label Candy. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Candy. Tampilkan semua postingan

Kamis, 17 November 2011

Does the Lettuce Go at the Top or the Bottom?

Tonight I was in charge of making dinner — a rarity. Since I'm not much of a chef, dinner consisted of sandwiches.

When I set down the meal in front of my wife, she made a remark about how I always make sandwiches "upside-down." I put the lettuce at the bottom, with the meat and cheese on top.

"Ha, you're kidding, right?" I said. "The lettuce is supposed to go at the bottom. What, did you not grow up in this country?"

Kelly insisted that, in fact, putting the lettuce *above* the meat is more common.

Since this seemed like the most absurd notion imaginable, I suggested settling the matter with a quick Internet search.

What we found shocked and horrified me.

The truth is, most "American" sandwiches put the lettuce above the meat.

McDonalds

Burger King

Wendy's

Quiznos

This is astounding. I feel like Bruce Willis at the end of "The Sixth Sense."

I now wonder if I'm not a sleeper agent, programmed during the Cold War by the Soviets (who got a few of the details wrong). Did they forget to activate me because of the breakup of the U.S.S.R.?

And what will I discover next?

Stephen Baldwin is the best Baldwin? Black licorice is edible? Soccer is a spectator sport?

The mind reels.

Rabu, 23 Februari 2011

If You Don't Respect Flavor Aid, Where Does It End?

Since the Hacienda restaurant chain has shown a wanton disregard for brand names, maybe they could use this as their next billboard.

(I know how to use Print Shop.)

As always, my consulting services are offered free of charge.

Minggu, 20 Februari 2011

Bubo Candy Shop in Spain

Speaking of sweets, BuboBlog foreign correspondent Jason spotted this candy shop in Barcelona.

He says there was no sign of any owls.

Sabtu, 19 Februari 2011

Iceland Omitted From 'Disgusting Candy' List

As loyal readers know, I've taken issue with Icelandic candy in the past and wondered aloud whether it contributed to the country's economic collapse.

Not from Iceland: Ear Wax Candy
Well, bad as it is, there are apparently far worse confections in the world — at least according to this list of the most disgusting candy ever made. Nothing from Iceland is included.

Here are the rankings:
21. White Chocolate Maggots
20. Bubble Fudge
19. Jujubes
18. Big Hunk
17. Ear Wax Candy
16. Barratt Sherbet Fountain
15. Zit Poppers
14. Chunky
13. Dubbel Zout
12. Sour Apple Abba Zabba
11. Bacon Beans
10. Hematogen
9. Circus Peanuts
8. Ayds
7. Nacho Mints
6. Hippy Sippy
5. Túró Rudi
4. Harry Potter Cockroach Clusters
3. Passion Fruit Almond Joy
2. Fry's Five Centre
1. Haw Flakes

If I did the list, I probably would have left out anything that's trying deliberately to sound disgusting (White Chocolate Maggots, Ear Wax Candy, Zit Poppers, Cockroach Clusters). I also would have singled out the black Jujubes as particularly atrocious (sorry to sound Jujube-racist).

And Ayds — the diet candy famously pulled from the market during the AIDS epidemic — is a little too easy of a target.




Most of the candies on the list do sound pretty horrendous. As someone who hates black licorice AND sweet-and-savory candy, I was especially disturbed by the Netherlands' Dubbel Zout. The name translates to "Double Salt"...who would buy that?

Then there's "the living nightmare known as Túró Rudi. This Hungarian candy is exactly as gross as it sounds — a pressed log of cheese curds enrobed in milk chocolate."

Hungary makes us not hungry

Russia's Hematogen, meanwhile, is "the only candy bar in the world that contains the secret ingredient of cow's blood."

I wonder if Turkish delight should have gotten at least an honorary mention. I spent most of my childhood thinking it must be the most delicious thing on Earth. Turns out, it's kind of gross. (Thanks a lot, Clive Lewis!)

The No. 1 grossest-candy was Haw Flakes: "Made from ground-up berries of the hawthorn plant (generally considered inedible) and packaged in a squat little cylinder, these quarter-sized discs are so inedible that some people use them to cheat parking meters instead."

Made in China

I suppose it's no surprise that candy from China would top the list. Traditionally, the Chinese have never had a strong affection for sweets.

Consider that the most famous Chinese dessert (the fortune cookie) was invented in California.

Jumat, 10 Desember 2010

Are Hip-Hop Cup Cakes Offensive?

Since I'm a fan of hip-hop and cup cakes, I feel like I should weigh in on this. Duncan Hines is under fire for ads promoting "hip-hop cupcakes" that look like they're wearing black face. (Thanks for the tip, BuboBlog Mission District correspondent Dave.)




The company took down the commercial from YouTube, but you can see it if you click over to the Eater site.

Having watched the clip, I don't think it's that scandalous. The cupcakes don't even rap — it's more like electronica (maybe the real problem is Dunan Hines labeling them as "hip-hop" when they aren't).

As a chocolate lover, I think it would be a shame if the company is forced to make the cup cakes vanilla. (Plus, what would they sing...Billy Joel?).

Kamis, 27 Mei 2010

I Declare a Truce

As loyal readers know, I was the first blog in America to point out that Sarah Jessica Parker was confusingly unattractive [citation needed - ed.].

Since breaking this story back in 2004, the rest of the world has followed — kicking up a firestorm of coverage (magazine articles, "Family Guy" segments, redacted IMDB comments). Friends, it's been a heavy mantle to bear.

I think it's time I moved on with my life. Sure, Sarah Jessica Parker continues to get stranger-looking every year. But we're all getting older, and none of us looks like Megan Fox anymore (not even Megan Fox). So I sympathize.

My critiques were never meant to be personal. The complaint was always the cognitive dissonance: that she was presented as an attractive woman to the world, and yet was not. I was most concerned for the children this would confuse. But now it seems the rest of the world has cottoned on, so my work is finished here.

I am officially retiring the "Sarah Jessica Ugly" tag. This will be its final transmission. (Please click on the link and play Green Day's "Time of Your Life" while you read the old posts.)

Icelandic candy? You're still on my enemies list.