I Declare a Truce

As loyal readers know, I was the first blog in America to point out that Sarah Jessica Parker was confusingly unattractive [citation needed - ed.].

Since breaking this story back in 2004, the rest of the world has followed — kicking up a firestorm of coverage (magazine articles, "Family Guy" segments, redacted IMDB comments). Friends, it's been a heavy mantle to bear.

I think it's time I moved on with my life. Sure, Sarah Jessica Parker continues to get stranger-looking every year. But we're all getting older, and none of us looks like Megan Fox anymore (not even Megan Fox). So I sympathize.

My critiques were never meant to be personal. The complaint was always the cognitive dissonance: that she was presented as an attractive woman to the world, and yet was not. I was most concerned for the children this would confuse. But now it seems the rest of the world has cottoned on, so my work is finished here.

I am officially retiring the "Sarah Jessica Ugly" tag. This will be its final transmission. (Please click on the link and play Green Day's "Time of Your Life" while you read the old posts.)

Icelandic candy? You're still on my enemies list.