'Daddy, Are You Drunk?'

Elliot and I were walking to the cafe on the corner when he asked to be picked up.

After telling him he was being a lazybones, I hoisted him up.

Elliot was quiet for a moment and then said, "Daddy, are you drunk?"

"What? Where did you hear that word?"

"I don't know."

"Was it Zoe?" (Zoe is his more sophisticated friend — she's 3.)

"No."

He must have sensed my apprehension: "I was just joking, Daddy," Elliot said. "I think."

This all took me by surprise. I was preparing for discussions on sex and death, but I didn't think I'd have to explain the effects of alcohol to a 2-year-old. He always seemed satisfied with my describing spirits as "mommy-and-daddy drinks."

Fortunately, I had the moral authority that came with it being 10 o'clock in the morning.

"Well, I'm not."