What's Considered a 'Bad Word'?

Now that Elliot's 3, he's paying much closer attention to the words we use.

Fortunately, my wife and I aren't predisposed to course language (my worst is usually "mothergrabbin'"). When I get upset, it's like watching an edited-for-TV film on the FX channel.

But having a small child really puts a spotlight on the things we say. I never realized how often I utter "What the heck?" until Elliot started repeating the phrase. Kelly got annoyed with this, and now I'm banned from saying it.

Is it profane or vulgar? Maybe not, but I guess you don't want a 3-year-old peppering his language with "What the heck?"

Tonight Elliot had to leave dinner to use the bathroom. His underwear and pants were wet, so I took them off.

Elliot then tried to return to the dining table.

"Wait, you can't do that."

"Why?"

"You need to at least put on clean underwear."

"Why?"

"Because you don't want to get food in your junk."

I realized immediately I'd made a mistake.

"What's 'junk'?" Elliot said.

"Uh, your...area. Down there."

"'Junk,' that's funny, Daddy."

Ugh. That one has definitely been committed to his memory banks.