Low-Probability Candidate for 'Better Homes and Gardens'

We moved out of the city less than a year ago, and already we have a disaster of a backyard. It's so full of hastily built structures it can only be compared to a Brazilian favela.

There are numerous cardboard-box homes and vehicles. If you look closely, there's a plastic tote bag hanging from a tree — no idea how that got there.

I guess it's a good testing ground for children to prepare for the Occupy movement.

The centerpiece is this sprawling plastic cube contraption that Elliot got for his birthday (below). I managed to squeeze into it once. (I had to be extracted by someone lifting the structure up over me. I'm not proud of this moment.)

At one point we caught him trying to drag his sister in.

 I'm pretty sure we never would have seen her again if he hadn't been stopped.

Why I Would Make a Terrible Protester

Tonight UC Police tried to prevent Cal students from setting up an encampment on campus.

From the Chronicle:

Students joined arms and chanted "hold the line" and "the whole world is watching" while police approached with batons and bean-bag guns.

I'm glad I wasn't there, since it's physically impossible for me to chant "hold the line" without adding "love isn't always on time." I admire anyone who can resist that temptation.

Kids Are Weird

Kelly bought Elliot a plastic toolkit from Home Depot. (Until now, he's been using the reflex hammer from his toy medical bag to handle construction tasks.)

Shortly after opening the box, he raised his tools to the heavens and shouted, "SOMETHING IS BROKEN!" Then he ran over to his make-believe kitchen and started making "repairs."

I wish I could approach my home-maintenance duties with this kind of relish.

'How Not to Fly a Kite'

It's harder than it looks.

Kelly shot this video, which features Elliot, cousin Margot and some of their well-meaning elders flying a kite on the North Carolina coastline.

Enjoy.

Unhappy Babies on Product Packaging

I always find it mysterious when I see packaging for a baby product with a picture of an unhappy baby. Was it that hard to get the kid to smile?

Kelly has a great baby carrier called the Lillebaby. It offers six different carrying positions, and according to the promotional materials, the baby looks miserable in all but one of them.

Then there's this infant bath seat. It's a fine product, but the child looks constipated here.

Maybe I have a skewed perspective because Alice is an insanely happy baby.

Honestly, most of the time she looks ecstatic just to be alive. It's almost creepy.

This is how you get Alice to smile. Step 1: Make eye contact. Step 2: There is no Step 2.

I wouldn't want her shilling for baby products. But I guarantee this is how she'd handle it: "I may not understand what you're selling, mister, but I'M GOING TO ROCK THIS THING."

At Last...the Holy Grail of Stop Signs

Back when I did my survey of Berkeley stop-sign graffiti, I lamented that there was no "STOP collaborate and listen."

But thanks to a tip from a reader, I discovered that one exists in Berkeley on California Street (at Prince) — not far from the Oakland border. So I swung by and snapped a photo.

It's a predominantly African-American neighborhood, so it's perhaps ironic that someone would pay homage to ol' Rob Van Winkle. Still, I'm excited to make this addition to my collection.

For the complete series, click here.

Tigers and Monkeys and Cinderellas, Oh My

We experienced a lot of firsts this year: our first Halloween in Berkeley, Elliot's first time trick-or-treating, and our first time living someplace where people actually came to our door seeking candy (something that almost never happened when we were in SoMa).

Not surprisingly, Elliot was a tiger. He held firm to the costume idea, even when his cousin Margot tried to convince him to be a prince (and then, in an attempt at compromise, a tiger prince). She was Cinderella.

Alice wore Elliot's old monkey costume, but somehow made it her own.

She may not be walking yet, but she'll pounce if you get too close (something her cousin Leigh learned here).

Leigh (1 year old) was Tigger, giving Elliot a trusty tiger sidekick.

Margot (age 3) already knows how to accessorize.

Sitting on the front steps at nightfall.

In the end, our house ended up being one of the more festive on the block (thanks to the giant spiderweb). I hope we met everyone's expectations.