A Day at the Office

I'm not sure if I should be concerned, but Elliot appears to be her secretary. (Photo courtesy of Sophia's mom, Misty.)

'Fire Is Fun'

The dog sticker I mentioned earlier has been scraped away, but people continue to post their artwork on utility boxes near the Embarcadero.



I'm not sure about the message this time.

Are Canadian Kids Smarter?

Elliot was enjoying Franklin Square Park (a recently refurbished playground at 16th and Bryant) when I noticed this disclaimer posted on the play structures.



“Designed for children ages 2 to 5 years (18 months-5 years for Canada).”

Say what? A Canadian child is able to handle this thing six months before an American kid?



What's the message here? Are Canadian tots smarter or tougher, or are their parents just less litigious?

In fairness, this all-American toddler seemed to think the best way to ride it was to climb onto the platform in the middle.



I'm not sure he's the best representative of his country.

Hello, Dolly

I've never rented storage space before (I've always been more of a cram-it-or-can-it guy). But with another baby on the way, we've begun moving some of our things into a storage place on Mission Street.

Going in, my only frame of reference was the storage facility in "Silence of the Lambs," so I was pleasantly surprised by how nice it was.

There's climate control, impressive views and each of the units is "individually alarmed" (that's certainly better than being "collectively alarmed," which would describe Poland in the summer of 1939).

Check out the view from our floor.



I had figured people would just use these places for storing things. But there's a lady with a space near our unit that has an office set up inside (not sure where her power source is coming from).

I was inspired to turn ours into a man cave.



Unfortunately, Kelly kept giving me more boxes and it got a little cramped.



While I was moving in, another guy was camped out in his storage area. He was unpacking stuff from Safeway paper bags while listening to Journey on a tiny boom box.

He said he had to leave his apartment in a hurry because he was offered a $50,000 buyout in order to move out of his rental. (Wow, in this economy?)



He was very excited about how the units were individually alarmed, because he needed to store his 27 guitars and his 30 pounds of silver coins. Question: Is he a musical pirate?

We didn't have anything that valuable (aside from the synthesizer)...but that turns out to be a good thing. When we tried to lock our unit, we didn't actually close the latch. The facility called to inform us of our error a few days later.

Frankly, if a thief agreed to steal our things, we would probably be better off. No storage fees.

'AOL Readers Tell Us Where They Hide Money'

There have been recent stories about burglars using Facebook to pick robbery targets. Maybe they should be checking AOL instead — its users are a lot more direct!



UPDATE: My main strategy for deterring burglars is to blog about how crappy our stuff is.

I'm pretty sure no one is going to break in to our home for this TV...



...or this crib...



...though the "Fantasy Island" oil paintings may be tempting.

How Times Have Changed

I was giving Elliot his bath when he grabbed the liquid soap and ate some of it. I sat back and waited for the look of disgust, figuring this would be a good teaching moment.

To my surprise, Elliot wasn't disgusted at all. In fact, he wanted to eat more.



So then I tried the soap. It tasted pretty good. It turns out the main ingredients include water, sodium, glucose, sunflower seeds, rice milk and mallow. That sounds like a delicious snack.



In my day, we made our soap out of lye. [Citation needed. -ed.]



Don't these new-age soap companies realize they've taken all the power out of threatening to wash your child's mouth out with soap?

Free Advice From a Toddler

When you walk down Folsom Street, the marketing for the new 3-D owl movie is inescapable. It's overtaken the Muni stations and there's a giant billboard near Fifth Street.



I realize it's based on a series of children's books, but I'm skeptical of any film with such a long name: "Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole" (especially when it's the first installment of an untested movie franchise).

In this case, Elliot has managed to whittle down an eight-word title to a far-more-managable phrase. When he sees the poster, he just says, "Hoo Hoo."

Are you listening, Hollywood? There's your title.